Much Needed Therapy
by FireStorm1991
Summary: Atsuko was concerned with her son's life. One night at a sleepover, she finds a book and takes it the wrong way. What will the gang do once they're locked up in an asylum? Interesting things are bound to happen. Rated T for language.
1. The Discovery

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters. Just the plot of this fanfic.

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><p>"Is this what you've been doing all this time?" Atsuko yelled at her son while throwing a book at him.<p>

"Ow, mom! What the hell?" Yusuke exclaimed. He had just been having the best dream and she had to go and wake him up.

But she didn't just wake him up. She woke all of his friends up. Yusuke and his friends decided to have a sleepover at his house. And now his mother was waking everyone up and throwing some book at him.

Yusuke heard Botan's gasp when she saw the book.

"What is it, Botan?" he asked. "Other than being woken up at six in the morning, mom!"

"Don't get sarcastic with me," she ordered. "What is this garbage?"

Yusuke started reading the book. It was a diary, Botan's diary; and it told about all of their exploits. Yusuke paled and looked at his mother.

"Well, you see, it's a very funny story," Yusuke tried to defend the group.

"Mrs. Urameshi," Kurama started, "what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?" Atsuko yelled. "You have all been getting together in secret to write this, THIS…I don't even know what this is!"

"We didn't write anything, you foolish, human woman."

"Um, Hiei, you should definitely not have said that," Yusuke said.

Yup, that had done it.

~(-_-)~

"And now we're here," Yusuke muttered.

"Way to go, ferry girl," Hiei criticized.

Botan turned her nose to the air. "I didn't do anything wrong, Hiei. But your mother did, Yusuke. Diaries are supposed to be private."

"Do you not KNOW my mom, Botan?" Yusuke asked. "No set boundaries."

"Well, we better make the most of this," Kurama said.

"Why's that?" Kuwabara asked.

Kurama looked out the window of an asylum. "Because we're probably going to be here for a very long time."

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><p>AN: Hahaha, believe it or not, I got the idea for this while watching Jumanji...I know, weird transition, but I'm hoping this will be funny. I have a weird sense of humor.


	2. Committed

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters, just wanted to let you know :)

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><p>"So they think you're crazy?" Keiko asked. She and Shizuru went to the asylum as soon as Yusuke's mother told them what happened.<p>

"Well, aren't they?" Shizuru asked. "Yeah, the demons are real, but they definitely are crazy."

"Thanks for the support, sis," Kuwabara muttered.

"So how long will you guys be in here?" Keiko asked.

Yusuke looked at her. "Until they think we're not crazy. We have our first 'sessions' today."

Shizuru raised an eyebrow. "Well, tell me how that goes. I can use some cheering up."

"Oh, ha ha," Yusuke muttered dryly. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

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><p>"Can't I just blast the walls of this place?" Hiei asked Kurama. "It would get us out of this pathetic, human prison."<p>

Kurama chuckled. "We aren't in a prison, Hiei. We're in an asylum. This is where humans go when they need mental help."

Hiei glared at Kurama. "I do not need help!" he yelled. "Especially from a bunch of humans!"

The two were sitting in a common area and many heads turned their way. Kurama just smiled and waved at the people who just went back to what they were doing.

He turned to Hiei. "If you want to get out of here, you are going to have to play along and not call anyone a human. Just pretend you're human too. Only until they release us."

"That is never going to happen."

Botan walked over the two boys. "Oh, Botan," Kurama acknowledged. "What did Koenma say?"

Botan twirled her figures nervously. "Well, you see…our meeting was being recorded and well…"

"Hey, guys," Koenma muttered walking into the room. Hiei smirked and Kurama had to stifle a laugh.

"Koenma?" Yusuke and Kuwabara exclaimed as they returned to the group.

Koenma sweat-dropped and muttered, "Yeah."

Both buys started cracking up.

"Okay, this too funny," Yusuke said wiping tears from his eyes.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you," Koenma stated. "For the time being, we are stuck here."

"What about George?" Botan asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Koenma snapped. "That would just make things worse."

"Or prove that we aren't crazy," Hiei stated. The others nodded in agreement.

"Can you contact him?" Kurama asked.

"Um, well, you see…no."

"Why not?" Yusuke asked.

"Because they took my communication mirror," Koenma answered sadly. "They thought it was a makeup compact."

Yusuke and Kuwabara fought the desire to laugh again, but not well as their laughs came out in muffled giggles.

"Anyway, we should be out of here quickly as long as no one here says anything about spiritual awareness, demons, or anything about Spirit World."

Botan turned to Yusuke. "You didn't say anything to Keiko or Shizuru, did you?"

Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other and paled. They mentioned a few things once or twice.

"Well, you see-" Kuwabara got cut off as Keiko and Shizuru walked into the common room.

"Crap."

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><p>AN: So the insanity continues and now Koenma, Keiko, and Shizuru have joined them. Yes, I plan on putting Yukina in there as well at some point. Next few chapters is going to be different sessions. I have some ideas for them, but I'm hoping as I type, something better will come to me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited this story. It made my day :)


	3. Yusuke and Kuwabara's First Sessions

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters, just the crazy doctors listed in the fic.

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><p>"Okay, Yusuke," the therapist said. "I want you to tell me what parts of the story you wrote?"<p>

"What story?" Yusuke asked sarcastically. "And what does it matter which parts I wrote?"

"Because it will help us determine the underlying reason for your problem," she explained.

"Look lady," Yusuke said bitterly, "I didn't write a story and I don't have a problem."

The therapist put a hand to her chin. "Hm, this is worse than I thought. You can't even acknowledge that you have a problem. Okay, let's start over. Yusuke, my name is Dr. Sani and I have a master's degree in psychology."

"That means absolutely nothing to me," Yusuke stated. Dr. Sani looked like she had been shot.

"Well, Yusuke, your file says that you're an only child to a single mother," she said looking at her charts. "It must have been hard for you to grow up without a father."

_Oh God,_ Yusuke thought. He watched enough TV shows to know how this was going to go.

"If you're going to ask the 'how did you feel about that' bullshit, then I'm walking out of here right now," Yusuke replied.

Dr. Sani started writing some stuff down in her chat. She said it as she wrote it. "Reluctant to talk about his feelings, easily angered, suggest family counseling."

Yusuke's vein started popping out. "How the hell am I supposed to go to family counseling while I'm in this place?" he asked at about talking volume.

Dr. Sani wrote more down before snapping back at Yusuke, "Now, young man, I will not tolerate your behavior. Either you calm down or I'm going to have your ward keep you in your room for the rest of the evening."

"But I wasn't even yelling," he muttered.

"That's it! You're going to sit in your room and when you're ready to let me help you, you will be let out."

_This is such a load of-_

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><p>"Mr. Kuwabara," an elderly man called into the common room. "My name is Dr. Takaneshi and I will be your therapist during your stay here."<p>

"Um, okay then." The two walked into a room that looked like an interrogation room in cop TV shows.

"Um, Dr. Takaneshi? Why is it so dark in here?"

"SIT DOWN!" Dr. Takaneshi roared.

"Uh, okay," Kuwabara said as he rushed to sit down. Once he got into the chair, he was strapped in.

_What the-?_

"Now, Mr. Kuwabara," Dr. Takaneshi cut into his thoughts, "I am going to ask you a series of questions and you are to answer them truthfully or else you will receive a shock."

"Are you frigging crazy?" Kuwabara yelled.

"No, you are," Dr. Takaneshi stated calmly. Kuwabara rolled his eyes, but the doctor couldn't tell because of the light shining in Kuwabara's eyes. "First question: is your name Kuwabara?"

"Um, yes?"

_Shock!_

"What the hell?"

"That was a lie," Dr. Takaneshi said as if it was a known fact. "Your name is Kazuma."

"But I-"

"Next question: Do you live in Tokyo, Japan?"

"What does that have to-?"

"Answer the question!"

"Jeez, okay. Yes."

_Shock!_

"What now?"

"It was never specified what city you lived in."

"OH, GIVE ME A BREAK!"

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><p>"Hey, Kuwabara," Kurama said. "Are you alright? Your session went on for three hours."<p>

Kuwabara wobbled into the common room and muttered a bunch of intelligible garbage.

"My name is Kazuma; it was never specified what city I live in; I don't like cats, I love them; I'm a normal, human boy; I didn't fight in any tournaments…" The list went on and on.

"Kuwabara?" Kurama tried again.

Kuwabara tried to sit down and fell head first onto the floor and groaned.

"What the hell happened to him?" Shizuru asked.

"I have no idea," Kurama stated. "But I think something happened during his session."

"No shit, Sherlock," Shizuru teased.

"Where is Yusuke?" Kurama asked.

"Keiko said he was locked in his room and isn't allowed visitors until he's willing to discuss his feelings with his therapist."

"Oh."

There were a few minutes of silence before screams were heard and flames were seen.

"Oh boy," Shizuru whispered. "I wonder what pissed flame boy off."

Hiei came running out of the room and Kurama grabbed his arm before he got away.

"Hiei, what happened?" he asked.

"Get me to your room and I'll tell you," Hiei responded. He sounded desperate so Kurama agreed.

Shizuru watched the therapists as they searched the common room holding a straightjacket.

"Well, that explains that."


	4. Hiei and Kurama's First Sessions

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the character...the therapists in the fic, sadly, I do.

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><p>"Mind telling me what that was about?" Kurama asked.<p>

"I don't even fucking know!" Hiei said. "One minute, she's asking me about my childhood, the next she's calling for backup."

"Why?"

"Because I glared at her," Hiei said. "I didn't even say anything."

"Well, you must have done something to scare her."

"Yes, I glared at her, said nothing, and then those humans ran in with a straight- whatever it's called and they tried to jump me."

"What did the therapist say when she called for backup?" Kurama asked.

"She said, 'help, he's trying to kill me.' Oh, she has no idea how much I wanted to."

"What about the flames? What did she say about those?"

"'Who was the idiot that let a child bring a flamethrower into an asylum?'" Hiei muttered unamused.

"Well, I have to get to my session," Kurama said trying to will himself not to laugh at the comment. "You're welcome to hide here as long as you want."

"I would have hidden here even if I wasn't welcome, fox!" Hiei spat. "If they come anywhere near me with that thing again, I swear, these walls are coming down."

Kurama nervously replied saying, "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

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><p>"So, Shuichi…or Kurama, what do you prefer to go by?" Dr. Sani asked.<p>

"My name is Shuichi," he stated.

"But your friends call you Kurama and they say Kurama is your 'demon name' in this book," she tried. "Wouldn't you prefer to go by that?"

"No," he said. "It is just a nickname, nothing more."

"Okay, so they said here that you think you have been possessed by a spirit fox. What does the fox represent?"

"Represent?" Kurama asked confused.

"Well, it did say the fox was a thief. Maybe it represents a memory."

"A memory of what?"

"Did you maybe steal something away from a child, like a snack? Or maybe you shoplifted once and the guilt is traveling with you to this day. I suggest that you admit, to whoever you stole from, what you did and how sorry you are."

Kurama sweat dropped. "Um, excuse me, Dr. Sani, but I never stole a child's snack nor have I shoplifted," he stated honestly. She didn't need to know what he stole as Youko.

"Hm, I see…a compulsive liar as well. That's who your character represents. Please, Shuichi, just admit to the person you stole from that you were wrong. Then you can heal and leave here."

"With all due respect, doctor…don't I need to be released from here to go talk to anyone?"

Kurama cringed when Dr. Sani turned and glared at him. "Are you calling me an idiot? I'll have you know that I have a master's in psychology!"

Kurama held his hand in front of her. "I never said anything of the sort, ma'am. You don't need to yell. I am right here."

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! I heard you say it! And were you just calling me high-maintenance?"

_And they think that we're crazy,_ Kurama thought sarcastically to himself. He sat there while Dr. Sani yelled at him some more about things he never said.

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><p>AN: Yup, Dr. Sani has two patients now. She's completely opposite from Hiei's timid therapist XD If anyone hadn't noticed, there is a lot of therapy bashing in here, not that I'm against it. I just find it funny when people who don't need therapy are forced into it. It hurts more than helps...like in this story XD


	5. Shizuru and Keiko's First Sessions

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH; I am not a creator of its characters, only a creator of my own; the therapists are my own characters XD

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><p>"Shizuru Kuwabara," another female therapist called.<p>

"Yes?" Shizuru responded. Keiko was sitting in the room with her.

"I want you to tell me the truth on this, because if you don't you are just hurting yourself."

"Ask away," she said monotonously.

"Shizuru, do you believe in demons?"

"No," she lied flatly and easily. "Can I go home now?"

The woman smiled. "Well, I don't see why not. Here's your chart. Just hand it to the front desk and tell them I said you can go. Then you can leave."

"That's it?" Shizuru asked. Keiko nearly fell over.

"Yup. Have a nice day."

"Um, okay, thanks?" Shizuru then whispered to Keiko, "She's your therapist too. Just do what I did and you'll be out of here. Then we can come up with a plan to bust them out."

Keiko nodded, and Shizuru left her with the therapist.

"Keiko Yukimura, I want you to tell me the truth on this, because if you don't you are just hurting yourself."

_Do all therapists say the same thing? _she thought. "Okay," Keiko said quietly.

"Keiko, do you believe in demons?"

"No," she stated confidently. The therapist wrote something down. "Um, can I go home now?"

"I'm sorry, but that would be against protocol."

"But you just let Shizuru go."

"Yes, but she is an adult and can check herself out, as well as her brother. You are seventeen and need to have your parents fill out the paperwork."

"But my parents don't know that I'm here!" Keiko exclaimed. "Can I use the phone to call them?"

"I'm sorry, but no."

"Why not?"

"Because it's against protocol. You might call your parents and tell them to come get you."

"But you just said that they are the only ones who can check me out when you see nothing is wrong with me."

"Keiko, nothing is wrong with you? Why did you check yourself in without talking to your parents about it first?" The therapist left the common room leaving a very stunned Keiko behind.

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><p>The next day, Yusuke was finally let out of his room.<p>

"Hey, Keiko," he muttered.

"Hey," she responded sadly.

"What's wrong? How was your session?"

"Well, they deemed that nothing is wrong with me because, like Shizuru, I lied and said I didn't believe in demons. Shizuru was able to check out, but she left before I found out she could check Kuwabara out."

"Then why are you still here? You can tell her to get Kuwabara out of here. They screwed with his head, and I don't think he's gonna last much longer."

Kuwabara chose that moment to walk into the common room. "My name is Kazuma; it was never specified what town I live in; I don't have red hair, I have orange hair; I have never fought a demon…"

"Oh my God, he's gotten worse…" Yusuke said. He quickly turned back to Keiko. "Why are you still here?"

"Because I'm not eighteen. My parents have to sign me out, even though I supposedly committed myself. And I can't call them because I might be asking them to come sign me out."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Yeah…if only my birthday wasn't three months from now."

"Wait, you said eighteen, right?" Yusuke asked. "I'm eighteen, and so is Kurama…well, as Shuichi he's eighteen. We can get out of here, tell Shizuru to sign Kuwabara out, and tell your parents that you're here and that they said you're okay but need them to sign you out."

"Oh yeah, that might work."

"Okay, hey therapist lady," Yusuke called and the therapist who spoke to Keiko and Shizuru appeared from out of nowhere.

"Yes?"

"Yeah, I'm eighteen, so I should be able to sign myself out, right?"

"Wrong?"

"WHAT?" both Yusuke and Keiko yelled.

"You were committed by your mother so she's the only one permitted to sign you out," the therapist explained.

"Then can you at least call Keiko's parents? Nothing's wrong with her."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Keiko asked.

"Doctor/patient confidentiality." (-_-')

"But I AM giving you permission to discuss this with them."

"Oh, okay, but you have to fill out some paperwork." The therapist handed Keiko a ton of papers and a pen and skipped away.

"Sadly, she's the most helpful," Yusuke said.

"I'm going to fill out this paperwork and then I'll get my parents to get me out of here. I'll talk to Shizuru about getting Kuwabara out of here. Can you go tell Kurama about the eighteen thing?"

"Sure, good luck."

"You too."

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><p>AN: So there's a plan in the works and we have two more sessions to go...what do you think will happen next?


	6. Koenma and Botan's First Sessions

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

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><p>"Is this really necessary?" Koenma asked.<p>

The therapist nodded. "Oh, yes. It's not healthy for a man your age to have a pacifier."

"But-"

"No buts, mister. I'm just going to throw this thing down the garbage disposal."

_Who has a garbage disposal in their office? _Koenma shouted in his head. He went to go stop her but was too late. She didn't even notice the glow of the small amount of energy being released. _Yup, my dad is going to kill me…_

"Now, Koenma, why do you think you're a woman trapped in a man's body?"

"WHAT? I don't!"

"Then why did you have a makeup case?" she asked.

"Because it was Botan's," he said truthfully.

"Oh," she replied. "Then why are you wearing a dress?"

"It's not a dress! It's a robe."

"Oh, okay. Well, I think I've heard all I needed to hear to make my diagnosis."

"But I've only been in here for five minutes," Koenma responded.

"I'm going to prescribe you some anti-depressants and someone will be scheduled to come to your room to give them to you."

"But I'm not depressed!" Koenma shouted.

"That's what someone who's depressed would say. I am a master at reverse psychology."

Koenma shook his head and left the room.

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><p>"So what happened?" Kurama asked Koenma.<p>

"She took my pacifier, threw it down a garbage disposal, and then prescribed me unnecessary medication for depression. I'm almost tempted to let Hiei have his way with everyone."

Hiei smirked and was ready to jump into action.

"I said almost!" Koenma snapped. "I'll make my decision if you all haven't figured a plan out yet."

"Oh, we have a plan alright," Yusuke said grinning. "Me, Keiko, and Kurama came up with it."

"Well, what is it?" Koenma asked.

"Well, Botan's therapist was Genkai," Kurama stated.

"WHAT?" Koenma yelled in surprise.

"Yeah," Yusuke responded. "She said something about not having enough money feeding us all when we come over, and' where the hell did you think the money came from, dimwit?'"

"Yup, that sounds like Genkai, alright," Koenma stated. "So what did she say?"

"Well, Keiko gave Genkai her parent's phone number and they came and picked Keiko up about fifteen minutes ago. Then they got to Shizuru who's coming back soon to get Kuwabara out of here. And-"

Before Kurama could continue explaining what was going on, Kuwabara walked in muttering more unintelligible thinks.

"Will you shut up?" Hiei snapped bitterly. "I'm this close to slitting your throat."

"My name is Kazuma; you are not four feet tall, you're about five feet; you aren't a fire demon; we made that up…"

"Oh, that's it!" Hiei yelled before pounding into Kuwabara with the Fists of the Mortal Flame.

"Shouldn't we stop him?" Botan asked walking into the room.

"Nah," Yusuke said. "Maybe this'll snap Kuwabara out of it."

Yusuke was right, surprisingly, and Kuwabara was snapped back into reality.

"Ow, Hiei, what the hell are you doing?" he exclaimed. Hiei finally backed off after getting in a few more hits.

"Finally, you're back to normal," Hiei muttered. "As if we can even consider you normal."

"Watch it, shrimp," Kuwabara warned.

"Hn."

"Well, anyway," Kurama said to bring everyone's attention back to the plan. "Like I said, Shizuru is coming back for Kuwabara. Genkai also called my mother to have her sign me out."

"Why can't you sign yourself out?" Botan asked. "Aren't you eighteen?"

"Yes, well you see, since Yusuke's mother was the one to commit the five of us, only she or a parent/legal guardian can sign me out."

"What about you, Yusuke?" Koenma asked.

"Well, Genkai is going to let Botan out saying she's healed or mentally sound or whatever. She told me to tell my therapist that it was just a story we wrote for a creative writing class."

"Will that work?" Botan asked.

"I don't know," he stated. "We'll find out."

"What about Koenma and Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.

"Well, Koenma wasn't committed by anyone in particular. It says he committed himself and he can pass for eighteen, so he can go sign himself out," Kurama replied. Koenma then slipped away from the group. "As for Hiei, I have no idea."

Hiei smirked. "Oh don't worry, fox," he said darkly. "I have my own way out, but I'll wait until you're gone so you don't 'accidently' get killed." He then let out a dark chuckle.

"I do NOT like the sound of that," Kuwabara said.

"Well, we didn't like the sound of your voice for the last twenty-four hours mumbling crap like a possessed freak," Yusuke retorted.

"Kazuma Kuwabara," Dr. Takaneshi called out. "You are free to go."

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed as he ran out of the room, but not before saying "see you soon" to the others.

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><p>AN: Special thanks to Purple () and Aristania for their reviews and support. I really do appreciate it :)

Yay, now everyone's getting out. And Purple(), just for you, Kuwabara is fixed XD


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters

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><p>"So who wrote this book?" Dr. Sani asked.<p>

"All of us," Yusuke replied. "It was a school assignment for our creative writing class."

"But doesn't Shuichi go to a different school?" she asked, starting to get angry…AGAIN!

"Yes, but he's our friend and was helping us with it and we had been watching monster movies while writing it," Yusuke lied. _Ha! I thought of that right off the spot._

"Oh," Dr. Sani said calmly. "I'll let your mother know right now then that it's okay for you to go home now."

_Seriously? _Yusuke yelled in his head. _If we had just said that to begin with, we wouldn't have ended up in here._

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><p>Later that day, Yusuke met up with Kuwabara and Kurama. "So what do you think Hiei was planning on doing?" Yusuke asked.<p>

"You have got to be kidding me, Urameshi!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "You know how he is."

"Yeah, but you don't think he's really going to-"

Yusuke was cut off by a news report on Kuwabara's TV.

"And there you have it, folks. The asylum downtown has been burned down to the ground with only few survivors…the patients. We will take the time to list all of the therapists who were working on this tragic day."

"Well, he finally did it," Kurama said.

"Who bet three days?" Yusuke joked. "I owe them a soda. I picked one hour."

"I guess shorty can only be pushed so far," Kuwabara said.

"Yes, well, at least Genkai wasn't working today," Kurama stated.

Yusuke started laughing. "Even if she had, nothing can kill that fossil!"

"You should be more respectful of your master, Yusuke," Kurama suggested.

Yusuke ignored him.

"So, Urameshi, what about your mom?" Kuwabara asked.

"When I talked to her about it, she said she must have been drunk because she doesn't remember sending us to the asylum…yeah, way to go mom."

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><p>AN: Haha, yeah, so kind of a rushed and crappy ending, but all I really wanted to say was Hiei burned the asylum down to the ground and none of the therapists, save Genkai (who needs a new day job), were all destroyed. So let's take the time to remember them…

The easily angered, Dr. Sani

The insane, Dr. Takaneshi

The doctor who says the exact same thing to her patients and yet does everything differently because of a protocol that has too many loopholes

And last but not least, the doctor who randomly prescribes you useless medication because she doesn't know what's wrong with you

They will forever be in our memories to make fun of as we so choose.

Thanks again for all of the reviews to this randomly thought up story. I like to take the time to reply to all reviews sent to me. I figured if you took the time to review, I should take the time to respond. However, since this is the last chapter, I will not be able to respond to any of the anonymous reviews...sorry :/ Wish I could though because you guys are important too.

And yes, Aristania, I made Hiei destroy the asylum just for you XD


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